Holly Buhler

When Old Patterns Take Over: Recognizing the Spiral

Sometimes, even a small comment from someone we love can trigger a cascade of emotions and old coping patterns. Recently, I found myself hurt by a family member’s words. Instead of facing my feelings, I retreated into a familiar distraction…shopping. This is not inherently a bad activity, but when used to avoid feelings, they become…

Speaking From the Heart: The Power of “I” Statements

Have you ever tried to express your feelings and ended up in misunderstanding or defensiveness instead of connection? Most of us have. It’s not easy to talk about emotions clearly, especially when we feel hurt or misunderstood. That’s where “I” statements come in, a simple, powerful tool for communicating feelings without blame or judgment. What…

Attachment and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Attachment shapes much of how we relate to others and to ourselves. When someone close to us says something hurtful, even unintentionally, it can feel like a threat to our sense of connection and emotional safety. According to attachment theory, first developed by John Bowlby, our brains are wired to prioritize close relationships because they…

CONTINUING ADVENT BEYOND CHRISTMAS: AN INVITATION TO LIVE THE SEASON FORWARD

As Christmas comes and goes, the lights dim, the schedules refill, and daily life returns with its familiar rhythm. Yet the heart of Advent—the expectancy, the slowing, the listening, the intentional watching for God—was never meant to be contained within just four weeks. Advent is a season, yes, but it is also a posture.A way…